Make You Smile Monday

I am one of those people that detests forwarded emails. It does not matter if they are jokes, pictures or the headline news, I am annoyed by them. Most of the time I do not even open these emails. I click the little button beside them, and they are deleted forever. Only occasionally, on a very good day do I feel like being nice and open one. The following is an excerpt from one of those very lucky forwarded emails that I opened. Happy Monday!

Adult Truths

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. Bad decisions make good stories.
10. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
11. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
12. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
13. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
14. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
15. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
16. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
17. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front by using the breakdown lane to pass. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
18. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey, but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.